We like male sexuality to be simplistic and straightforward, but this can only be achieved by ignoring complexity. But so far, the difference seems to be this: Mostly straight men are more attracted to women and less attracted to men than are bisexual men, suggesting that they are neither exclusively straight, nor are they bisexual. The short answer is that we simply don’t know, because research on male sexuality frequently combines him with straight or bisexual men, or deletes him altogether because researchers aren’t sure what to make of him. But what if he doesn’t fit into existing sexual categories or acknowledges that sometimes he desires sex or romance with his “nonpreferred” sex (men)? Is he simply fooling himself - or might he be illustrating a hidden and poorly understood dimension of male sexuality? These men challenge existing assumptions that a man is necessarily straight, gay, or, perhaps, bisexual, and that his sexual arousals and romantic desires are stable, categorical, and, therefore, predictable. And man crushes … I would say I’m 99 percent straight with my 1 percent being those moments where noticing or thinking what would it be like to have sex with a guy.” - Ben, age 22 “I’ve had bromances, I guess you could say. We never kissed, but emotionally we kissed.” - Kevin, age 19 “I wrestled with this guy, my drill partner, and we got very close. “He opened my eyes that it is not wrong for a straight guy to have attractions or crushes on other guys.” - Brady, age 18 “If I were to meet a man who I was attracted to, I would not be afraid to be attracted to them.” - Demetri, age 19 I have man crushes when a male is so cool … I like the idea of male fluidity.” - Leo, age 21 Here’s a small sampling of what they’ve told me.
The 40 young men I interviewed for my book would disagree. Perhaps if a young woman were to make the same claims as these men, we wouldn’t be surprised: Women, not men, are supposedly fluid in their sexual and romantic lives. When I tell people about my work, they often assume these men are joking, or that they are really closeted gays. In it, I draw from the experiences of young men to make the case that an increasing number say they’re straight, but feel a slight but enduring sexual or romantic desire for men. I even borrowed his words as the title for my new book, Mostly Straight: Sexual Fluidity Among Men. Hutcherson typifies the young men (he’s 25 years old) I’ve interviewed over the years in my work as a research psychologist: those who embrace sexual ambiguity over neat and simple identity boxes.
But I think defining yourself as 100% anything is kind of near-sighted and close-minded.”Īt the time, the actor’s comments attracted considerable attention from the media, and the interview caught my eye, too. But who knows? In a fucking year, I could meet a guy and be like, ‘Whoa, I’m attracted to this person’ … I’ve met guys all the time that I’m like, ‘Damn, that’s a good-looking guy,’ you know? I’ve never been, like, ‘Oh, I want to kiss that guy.’ I really love women. In 2013, Hunger Games actor Josh Hutcherson told an interviewer for Out magazine that he was, in his own words, “mostly straight.” “Maybe I could say right now I’m 100 percent straight.